Lia, you've been handed a raw deal. You have too much on your plate. You said emotions change but life doesn't. Your life will change. It's always changing. Some you can control, some you can't. What are the prospects like for job opportunities? Any there disability or unemployment assistance or food stamps offered there?

Can you think of anything that you're currently obligatingly putting up with that you could let go of? You don't sound mad about the obligations of being a mother. I think we can both agree that even when it sucks parenting, we are dedicated mothers. And I think we both know we need to work to support them. And that sucks too, but part of the deal.

But other things you feel obligated to do... are there areas where your values are not lining up with priorities? Like when we put others before ourselves, give too much, even when detrimental to our sanity, or taking away from time we could spend with our children.

I made a list of my values... then a list of my priorities. I can see too many times where I sacrificed my values out of a feeling of obligation. It causes too much inner conflict and drain. And I look at how I was raised to be giving, but how can you continue to be a giving person when you've given it all away, and there's no replenishment. So for me - I'm changing my priorities because I value my children and my own spirit and those come first, must be healthy at all costs, even if it means saying no to people.

These mile marker years come upon us, you're approaching 30 (next year right?) and re-evaluating your past, your present, your sacrifices, your pain & suffering, likely thinking this is not where I'd hoped to be by age 30. You want a say in what you put up with, and now's a good time to be more selfish and find any areas or people where you can cut the fat. This is crucial at this time, your home, career, future, health, and literally your life are all at stake.

Just ideas, please take with a grain of salt if it doesn't apply or is not helpful. Kind of brainstorming, this is where I'm at approaching 40 in September, job and house still on the line. I hate the lack of security and stability, it's a horribly trapped feeling. Like you've told me, you know I'll come out on top, and I believe in you the same.