Basically, it sounds to me like you have having feelings/questions that are consistent with the DSM-5 definition of personality disorder which was too confusing for clinicians, so it was ditched for the time being. In the DSM 5 a key feature of having ANY personality disorder was to be:

"Significant impairments in self (identity or self-direction) and interpersonal (empathy or intimacy) functioning."

So, when I read your post, it sounded to me like you had questions about your identity, that you didn't know "who you were" (neither did I and I still have questions, though it's better now) and so wondered if other people might not know, since you weren't sure. And you weren't sure -- not because the others were "right" but because you (might) have a personality disorder!

Hope this helps a little. Hope you're finding some good professional help, too. I found the help hard to find but worth it once I found some.