How do you know when you should be shoving gently to keep your depresses/anxiety ridden son moving forward and when should you pull back and just let things be? When should you be saying, " You said you would do this and so you are going to do it" or instead try to understand why they cannot do it and let it slide.

We are so afraid of making things worse with our son but he keeps persisting in having contact with his ex and every time, it sends him into a tailspin. And that is both hard and frustrating to see as we have made huge personal sacrifices bot emotionally, physically and economically so that he can live here with us and not have to worry about a roof over his head.

He has begun drinking at night and he thinks we do not know as that was one of the agreements we made when he moved home. I know he is doing it to avoid the mental pain and to get to sleep but we do not have alcohol in this house for good reason and he should not be drinking with anti depressants and anti anxiety drugs in his system.

If we ask him to leave, he has nowhere to go and he will just spiral down. If we ignore his drinking, it will be a huge toll on us and we are not young any more. The whole situation is beginning to affect our health also.

Help us find a balance somewhere please. The therapist I went to just told me to 'take care of myself'. That is rather difficult when there is this stress in our house.