I enjoyed my singledom when I was younger ... I had big career plans and goals. I dated and had a long-term bf/relationship but we were too young to get married.

It wasn't until I met my first true love and we got engaged that I was REALLY looking forward to getting married and extending the family (he had a beautiful daughter from a previous marriage that I adored, and she wanted a baby brother ) unfortunately, he had a sailing accident and passed away. I mourned the loss of what I thought could have been.

A year later, I met my best friend I openly vowed that I never wanted to get married or have children. After a period of time, like turned into love which turned into a bond that was indescribable. We were best of friends and just loved each other's company. We were so different yet our values and morals were the same. We just knew we would grow old together. The passion for each other after 8 years never faded. Our relationship grew stronger. He had asked me to marry him but I declined (probably out of fear). He asked again, and I said "yes". Although we both felt we were married in our hearts and totally committed, we wanted that little piece of paper He had two kids from a previous marriage that I loved like my own. By that point, having our own bio child was risky. We were fine with anything that came our way. I couldn't wait to marry this gorgeous man. A month after we got engaged, he was Dx with S4 Synovial Sarcoma. He / we fought like hell for two years. He was a warrior. Ultimately, he succumbed to the cancer. A little piece of me died with him. I would have loved to have had more children with him but ot wasn't meant to be. I feel very sad about that.