I am No Contact with him while he's drinking. He knows this, but still tries. I don't plan to try a discussion with him to say don't contact my older son. It would turn into me engaging, and backfire, giving him more reason to contact my older son. My son is smart and will tire listening to ex step dad's slurring babble. But I can control that he won't speak to me or our 11 year old son until he is sober.