So sorry you're hurting, and that things aren't working out as you would like with the guy you care about. A few thoughts. Ultimately you are really the only person who can make yourself feel happy, or safe, or calm. While someone else may provide these feelings for you at times, the reality is that people come and go in our lives, but we will always be left with ourselves. If you are depending on someone else to provide these things you are at a disadvantage as you go through life. ~whimsy