I have heard of people taking small objects as a security blanket when they go out. I suffer from pretty severe social anxiety and avoided treatment, and medications for a long time. Until I got to the point where you are at now. When you finally relise that your world is falling in and you seem alone when you really arent. Soon you will effect even the close ones around you and it will get worse. This is the point I called a doctor and started treatment. I found if I didnt I would lose my wife and family around me by becoming a recluse. I know its hard, probley one of the hardest things you have to do, but once you make that first tiny step and get help, you will only go up from there. Even if it takes awhile to get to where you need to be. Wish you all the best, and we are all here to help as much as we can!

Mark