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Old May 26, 2013, 05:32 PM
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TanyaP TanyaP is offline
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Member Since: May 2013
Posts: 27
Quote:
Originally Posted by seeker1950 View Post
Thank you both, Hamster and Healing, for your replies. I was/am not looking for validation, but your responses are helpful, nonetheless. There was and has always been an element of insult coming from this man. It seems part of his persona to set me up for insult. I've experienced it more than once, owing it to what he perceives as my treating him badly. I naively thought an honest letter about my intentions when I was young would elicit a meaningful dialogue with him. This is the risk in trying to make amends. I accept that.
In the perspective of life, this is not important. The man has lived his entire life in a shallow existence...We are both in our 60's. I've married, raised a daughter, lived thru an unhappy marriage, worked to achieve my independence from that, worked as a teacher and an artist, strived to be self-sufficient financially (which I am). This man cannot empathize with any of my experiences because he has spent his entire life indulging himself alone. Why I thought my communication to him would be meaningful, now I see was a waste. I only felt badly because he was so
attached and insistent toward me when I wanted to end the relationship...truly obsessed. None of my friends could tolerate him. Even back then he was so offensive in his behavior.
I guess I thought he might have evolved to become a better human being...NOT!
People normally don't change unless they made a decision on their own to change. And this doesn't happen too often. So when writing to him even many years later you shouldn't have expected to see a different person and a different response.. It does hurt sometimes to realize the person is not who you had long hoped they would become, but we should just learn to accept people as they are and not try to build illusions about them.. even as the time passes many personality traits of people we knew years and years back will still be the same and we should just accept it..