I am so sick and tired of being up and down like I am on a rollercoaster ride.....well I want off of this dam ride!!!! I am so tired of feeling so dam needy all the time!!! I am so tired of not sleeping, or when I do sleep, have nightmares!!! I am so tired of fighting this fight!!! you know I try to watch tv and 90% of the shows are about molestation or something!!! I mean WTF???
right now I am just doing my best to keep my head above ground and most of the time it is by numbing out right now!!! I have been so numb that I cannot even feel joy!!! I do feel my physical pain though!! I wish I could numb out from it!! I know this is part of my depression because I thought all my physical bs was over and here we go again!!! more crap, more physical pain which may end up in more surgery!!!!