I really don't know what to say to all of that, and I know it might seem to you like you're just spinning your wheels. But when I read all of that, it seems to me that you do a literally amazing job at holding it all together. Anything I could say here would sound really shallow and like a canned "keep fighting the good fight" type of thing.

There are ways too of being a little selfish sometimes that don't require money. Do something that is completely (safe) selfish. Yes, people rely on you, but they can't take over your every waking and sleeping thought. Money sucks. Being an adult sucks. It always does. We can only combat it by being completely selfish every once in a while.