I couldn't explain what I was feeling inside since 14 until I had a break with some medication at 32. I think I was so buried with all sorts of symptoms like anxiety, irritability, racing thoughts, depression that I was disconnected with myself. If someone asked me if I liked this or that I could not find an answer to save my life. And I could not relate to family or friends after 14 and that caused fantastic frustration and a number of breakdowns from 22-28. Paxil eased my symptoms, I became more connected to myself, was able to relax for the first time in years, started working FT then meds wore off after several years.