My Support Forums - View Single Post - Dear T: I need to tell you something, but I don't know how Part VI

ultramar · May 27, 2013, 12:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions

I, personally, would prefer to know when someone has a reaction to me (instead of it being said behind my back or in passive aggressive veiled ways), so that I have the opportunity to explore it - see if it fits or not, see if it has value, etc. - and, if I value the relationship, be given the opportunity to work through it with them. (Of course, within certain limits.)

Sometimes people aren't aware of their behavior and how it affects other people. And unfortunately, many times, people don't want to know.

I find that there are times when I consider posting on this thread - feeling vulnerable, struggling and wishing to express something to my T - but then find myself feeling nauseous and guarded because of how I see it being used. I'm disappointed that some believe that anything goes as long as you slap a "dear T" in front of it.

You are referring to goingtogetthere, as am I.

I don't usually post on here, but sometimes take a look. I'm often amazed by how vulnerable people are -on the forum, but really especially here. What I saw when I looked on here earlier today made my stomach turn (particularly what just_some_girl quoted). This has been going on for some time, however, it's very difficult to address because it's always indirect, veiled, passive aggressive (on a level I never could have imagined before). In my opinion, some of your posts, GTGT, are a slap on the face to everyone who bears their hearts and souls here, hoping for empathy, not mockery.

I tried to withhold judgment for some time until I read a post of yours, GTGT, which said (I paraphrase): 'Dear T, I've found out some people have blocked me, guess I'm touching a nerve here!!' This isn't an exact quote, but the tone of that post (as in some other cases) was triumphant (without the context of your other posts, it wouldn't have appeared this way at all). This is when I realized, that this is -in part and at times- your intention here, GTGT. One thing is to challenge people, write things that may be a bit harsh, but for the ultimate purpose of helping someone. It's not all roses on this forum. And you, GTGT, are supportive sometimes. But I often sense a tone of mockery and/or triumphalism in your posts that is at odds with the purpose of this forum.

I feel like you're going to slam me, Anne, for stating someone else's intentions (I know you hate this), if not mind reading. I do not usually do this. At all. Today, though, after reading what I read, I have felt I needed to finally say something. It's all been so indirect, veiled, cloaked, and I loathe all of these things. That's me. I certainly don't claim to speak for anyone else, this is my opinion and I felt the need to bring it out-into-the-open.

I'm aware I'm probably fueling a fire, my apologies, but at least it's out there.