Well, I'm no Ask Abigail, but imo you have already wasted enough of your good lovin on this guy. Time to quit while you're ahead. Sounds to me like you have given him many occasions to make a commitment, and it just isn't going to happen. Why bother when he now has his cake and can eat it too??? Also, if you don't get along with his mother NOW?? (or her you, family and all that) there is very little chance of doing so later. They don't even know you and won't give you a benefit of the doubt now.

Time to end this, imo. (((((big hug)))) and go looking for the real "one" for you! You deserve so much more!