Sorry about my misunderstanding, pink santa!

I still think that you need to end this relationship now though! Your bf is tearing you up inside. This really needs to be done to maintain your own sanity. And he really needs to get some professional help to get through this struggle he is caught in.

Please do tell a responsible adult about his frequent threats, so something is done to help him now. You need to be true to yourself ~ there is no other way around it. PLEASE get help. You don't have to have a deep soul-searching conversation with your bf. Just tell him that this relationship has to be over now. Your heart isn't in it anymore. You will always care about him as a person, but you need your space to fulfill your dreams.