Im not doing well at all today,all day the question has been in my mind"why am i still here?"i dont really want to be,but i know that my family and friends would be devastated if i was to not be here anymore.I am so unhappy with my life,but last week i was fine and hopefull,im upa nd down like a yoyo,one minute im happy and the next im wondering how many pills we have in the house i just dont know whats going on with my mind anymore,i used to think it was because i was drunk but these thoughts are here all the time now.I took the bipolar tast and scored 35 so im wondering if the citalopram im on is possibly the wrong medication,someone please shed some light and give me some advise.Im a big strong man but i feel like a sad small child.