Hmmm... perhaps you have hidden feelings of guilt that you don't know about. Perhaps you are subconciously afraid those closest will find out. I feel that way sometimes and that's what I've narrowed it down to.
Remember though...your not wearing a sign on your face stating..."check this out." I mask certain ones out and let more empathetic ones in. We recognise our own quite easily. Ain't no big deal though. I've learned long ago to deal with my wierd thoughts...and laugh about it...or share it if it's the "right" person.
m.b.