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Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
I, personally, would prefer to know when someone has a reaction to me (instead of it being said behind my back or in passive aggressive veiled ways), so that I have the opportunity to explore it - see if it fits or not, see if it has value, etc. - and, if I value the relationship, be given the opportunity to work through it with them. (Of course, within certain limits.)
Sometimes people aren't aware of their behavior and how it affects other people. And unfortunately, many times, people don't want to know.
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That's something I hadn't considered and I'm glad you said it-- it's a good point. I agree it's important for people to know how their posts impact others and I think it's important for people to be able to express how it affects them.
If your post had stopped at how you were affected, I wouldn't have raised the issue about how your post impacted me. Your post was also about GTGT's "honest motivations" and your questioning of her intentions. It made me feel like anyone who posted there would have to answer to you about what they "really" meant, and prove that it wasn't just passive-aggressive commentary on what they didn't like on this forum. This is what makes that thread feel unsafe to me.
I think that making statements about other people's intentions, beliefs, thoughts and other "inside their heads" is destructive and unhealthy, here and in real life. It's what marriage counselors try to stop couples from doing, and it's what Nonviolent Communication guru Marshall Rosenberg means by "violent" communication.
Quote:
Originally Posted by mixedup_emotions
I'm disappointed that some believe that anything goes as long as you slap a "dear T" in front of it.
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Ouch. That feels like a shot directly at me.