People say suicide is so selfish and that you hurt so many when you do it. My thought is where are all those people when you are hurting?? The people that will send flowers and shake their head and say "I never would have guessed". Where are they when you are screaming from the bottom the darkest hole??? So many sit around and say " in wonder what was so bad in her life?". Yet they never made the effort to find out. That is the people I am suppose to be so concerned about? I am suppose to worry about their pain?? What about the fact I sit here and lose more of my mind everyday? What about the pain I have that I just want to stop?? Can my pain not ever be considered??? Takin care of everyone and being the strong one is what has put me where I am and now I am suppose to continue in this because they wouldn't understand? Please make that make sense to me. It is a holiday weekend and do I really think anyone would give up a lake day or a family BBQ to take a minute to know I simply do not have an ounce of mental strength to get out of bed? Or if I had already ended things, I could imagine the thought, "well we would go to her service, but we had out hearts set on spending time on the lake... Or at the park... It at the picnic... Or family reunion... It whatever place they would rather be. But those are the people I need to think about??? Someone help me understand this please.