*hugs* Please keep your 2 years in mind, I know that when I gave in to the pressure to SI especially after a long time of not I always felt angry and upset with myself. I am sorry to hear about all your troubles. I don't belive that you should stay with someone just because you feel guilty. it sounds like your husband is doing all of this to himself and he is pulling you down with him. Please try to take a step back from the situation and see if it is really worth it to try and work it out. Or get of there and do what is right and best for YOU! *HUGS*