This has been coming on for a while but never as strongly as tonight. I keep thinking that we're all inside this great big computer like thing. I feel like life is something like a video game and our bodies are actually our in-game characters that we use to move around and interact with others inside the game, but we (our souls) are actually somewhere else and not confined to this world. When someone dies they're actually shutting down their computer and getting on with the rest of...idk... whatever else they're doing. I keep coming across stuff like quotes that seem to fit in with my theory. Like the Einstein quote that, "Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one!" or Galilei saying something about the universe being written in the language of mathematics. I know, they might have thousands of different meanings, but I'm taking them and using them for my own purpose! Once I was suddenly reminded of The Matrix trilogy and thought: "Whoa! I should meet the guy who made those movies!" I mean, he must've been thinking along the same lines as me!

It's so weird. I am so detached. Everything feels overwhelmingly empty and unreal. I feel really trapped. I feel like my body is a cage. The whole material world is a cage! I'm really religious too and that doesn't help with these thoughts at all; strengthens them if anything. You know, it's like I've taken the religious belief that "there's a life after this one and we'll see the result of what we do now there" and combined it with science and imagination and god knows what else to... oh but none of this helps! I still firmly believe that I am trapped in a giant computer!

Is this considered a form a psychosis or what? I've never been psychotic before. Well, when I was nine I believed I was really Harry Potter and had been cursed by Voldemort to forget my true identity and magical powers! But I grew out of it. And early in high school I was convinced that some of the older kids in our school were involved with a mafia group and wanted to recruit me! But something scary had really happened that triggered this. I had recieved a phone call from ANOTHER COUNTRY and the bloke knew loads of stuff about me and the people I knew. I know the phone call was real. My dad saw the number in my phone at the time and questiond me about it. If you have experienced anything similar I'd appreciate your sharing it. It would be comforting to know that I'm not alone. If I am alone... well, I'd still like to know exactly how mad I am!