Well I've been busy..the little worker bee tending to responsibility, seemingly content on the outside. Cooperating and pulling my weight and helping others with theirs.

Inside I am an ocean of emotion. I'm standing on an island -alienated from everyone and everything. I feel I am the 'other' ...despite reassurance after reassurance, I don't belong. I am separate from. I can rationalize that this is perception...but the feeling is gnawing at me. My own mind turns me into the 'other'. The feelings seem to propel me to push people away, the realization that it is mere perception propels me to pull them closer...A walking dichotomy ...today I feel as if I am two forces in one, two north magnetic poles pushing at one another and trying to be symbiotic. I am impossible. I want to push even myself away.