|
WOW, OK.... Shutting down....
Last night I was going through all these emotions, insecurities and doubts about my relationship; tend to become very depressed when I'm in one. I sat outside for a while repeatedly playing this ridiculous scene in my head where all my memories of him are totally gone and act as if I don't know him ( my boyfriend.) I honestly believe that by "shutting down" (meaning every emotion, memory and whatnot I've had with/about him) I'd be a lot happier, and I don't see how, maybe to a point... lol. The thought of not having him seems like the end to me, but yet I'm fabricating this scheme... WOW... What the hell is wrong with meee? WHY CAN'T I JUST BE HAPPY? He's a great person, but negativity always seems to get the best of meeee... I know it isn't real, it's all in my head... It's all just in my head.
|