I got to the point where I knew, still know, I would kill myself without them. There was nothing objectively wrong with my life, aside from being able to complete my university degree, but I still didn't want to live. I told my pdoc that if I didn't recover, I would kill myself in September, and it was the end of July, but that I would try anything. I found the miracle med for me: lamicatal. I am no longer stable, but sometimes I am baseline and I've had to alter dosage and add additional meds, but I am back in school and still employed and, most of the time, happy to be alive, even when I am not happy.