I don't know if this is helpful to you, because I am not in the situation you are. I only pay $80 a month for therapy (weekly copay) and so therapy is not a financial stressor for us.

I have never comingled the money I earn with my H's. We have a joint account where he deposits his paycheck and he pays the household bills out of that. I don't touch this account. I have various accounts for different reasons because I am self employed and I pay business expenses. H has no idea what I pay for (except I do the shopping, so he knows that I buy food and household supplies, and things that our kids and pets need). The only time we discuss money is if we want to do something (fix something in the house, go on vacation, buy something "big") and then we talk about who can contribute what and whether we can afford it. I'm not a big spender in terms of girly girl stuff-- I do get massages but they are the therapeutic kind for my physical issue.

There was a time when we had a joint credit card, and H is obsessive about making sure there is no fraud. He used to ask me, "what's this $119 purchase at etsy.com?" I would answer, those are the handmade candles I bought, the ones on the mantle. But this started to irritate me, so I got my own credit card and I stopped using the joint one. I don't know that he was necessarily resentful of my spending, but I felt that any questioning of it sort of felt like that, and I didn't want to feel that way, so I stopped putting myself in the situation.

What is pinging for me in your situation is that there is no Law of Marriage that every expense must be agreed upon by the couple. That it is perfectly acceptable to say, without hostility, that the expenses for your therapy are not up for discussion or negotiation. That you are doing what you need to do for your health, and that without your health, you will not be able to work or have a decent marriage or parent well. It is perfectly fine for a wife to tell her husband that she plans on spending a certain amount of money for a certain thing and it is something that she needs to do.

It feels to me, maybe I'm misjudging the situation, that you are concerned that you will give in to what seems like subtle pressure from your H to cut back or eliminate therapy, and you're not ready yet. That the example of the MFA is one where he talked you out of doing something for yourself. I'm sure it's not that he has evil motives-- perhaps he is not looking out for you in the way that you need to look out for yourself. If you want to have a conversation with your T, maybe it would be helpful to think about the ways that you feel pressured to do what he wants. That seems like a bigger issue.