Thank you for both the replies... I definitely agree that it will do no good to get worse before getting better and I am trying to tell myself that getting help is just another step on the way to recovery and that it was me who got myself into this in the first place. I really do want to get better and I wish it was just a snap of the fingers and I dont understand where this irrational thinking of having to prove something now is coming in...but it's not what I am going to do. We do need to stay positive and biiv we definitely can't focus on these thoughts...it's so comforting to speak with people though who are thinking the same things