Cjeomie,

I can't think of any words of wisdom, to help you through this painful process ~ other than work on making yourself stronger. I think that is a very difficult skill that takes a while to build. I am in the beginnings of building my own self-esteem. I can share what helps me...

Exercising regularly, accomplishing daily tasks (like staying on top of finances, cleaning, etc.), caring about the environment & working to make an impact in my environment, setting & reaching small goals, focusing on right now (rather than beating myself up for the past or worrying about the future), showing kindness towards others mindfully. Those are little things that I can do daily, to make myself feel a little bit better about who and where I am. I'm doing the best that I can.

You focusing on the best (wise) things that you can do in this very moment for yourself, to get yourself through the pain, is what I advise you to do.