wittlebee, there's so much information - and help - available about just what you are going through, I couldn't but begin to tell you.

I am curious as to why you are allowing him to NOT be separated from you, when you wish to be. SEPARATION means that. Sounds like you might be seeing and hearing him more than when he was working!

Also, separation means you have SEPARATE money. Your bills are yours, his are his (and the children's are both of yours, though.)

Ok here goes my "looters" speech: Looters are those people who do nothing but take and take and take, and then make YOU feel guilty for not giving more.

If he threatens you again, call the police immediately. If he threatens his own life again, call the police immediately. Either it will call his bluff, or will bring in the people who can help.

If you find that being separated is not working like it should, then file for divorce. He needs to realize that HE needs to get HIS life in order BY HIMSELF. As long as you are there for him to lean upon, and blame or whatever, he will not refocus his life. (And, you may find out he is only using you as an excuse, and will NEVER take charge of his life, even with divorce.)

You have to make decisions that will make your, and your children's life the best it can be. Make long term plans, it's not going to be quick or easy.

(The only way I would believe he is changed, that he quits begging, seeks help, seeks rehab and/or gets a job and owns up to his responsibilities AND DOES THIS FOR A LONG TIME. This is no quick fix.)

<font color=blue> meditation is a true way to connect to the Source </font color=blue>