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thespousehere said:
Anyway, after an episode of depression and the lifting, do other "caregivers" feel down, exhausted, unclear. I couldn't say what I feel is depression, I do not have the negative thoughts, but I do feel blahh, tired, a bit iritiable, and just unclear.

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YES YES YES!!! I had what was, for me, an enormous meltdown about 3 weeks after my husband first got onto medication after a 2 year bout of severe depression. And like you, I was surprised -- I thought I would be happy and relieved that he was "back", but instead I felt like all of the stress and pressure of the last 2 years had been held back, and that when I no longer needed to worry about him, the floodgates opened and I realized that I had not taken care of myself at all. Not that I didn't try -- I did (because the experts say you're supposed to) -- but so much focus on him him him every day left me very neglected in the process.

I hope that you can give it some time, and perhaps a little vacation on your own before you make any big decisions. I'm certain that you probably have a ton of resentment built up, and I wholeheartedly understand that resentment (because I feel it too), but if there is still a chance you can work through it, then I offer you my support in that area. If it's just too late, then I still offer you my support because I know that you've given it your all.