Quote:
Originally Posted by Maranara
It's your BPD all the way. It's called splitting sometimes when we go from one extreme to another. It's stereotypical, but for many BPDs they fall in love fast and are totally infatuated with a person and then they start seeing their faults and go from love to despise very fast. Not always true but sometimes.
I think the reason BPDs fall in love so fast is because we lack the validation that love brings. We were told we were unlovable, despised, forgetable, so when someone shows us attention we latch on, cling on much more than we should.
|
This is very true for me. I want to get that feeling of being loved, because it provides a sense of wholeness to me. When that feeling isn't there I don't feel complete. Maybe it is a lack of identity or emptiness and feeling in love provides a sense of balance and validation to the part of me that is missing.
When that get threatened by the other person not caring enough, or disappointment etc, I go from love to hate. I want nothing to do with them and maybe by hating them. Maybe hate is too strong for me, I just shut people out. It is hard for me to cope with. I don't tend to direct my angry outward though. Maybe I wouldn't be so depressed if I did direct it outward. I tend to direct my angry inward. I think the tradeoff is people would walk on egg shells around me, affraid of what little thing might make me blow up. I think I am too self sacrificing for my own good.