I'm not taking your husbands side on this matter. The only thing I can draw from your situation is that your husband is more concerned with the money issue than about u getting the help u need. It's a common occurrence in our society. U may consider the fact that maybe u dont need therapy. I'm not sounding cold here and i dont want u to think that I'm not sensitive to your situation that u need therapy to deal with life.
What I'd like to say is in most undeveloped countries, like say tribes of people living in some of the remote jungles on the planet earth, have no need for therapists or social workers, or even medication. Yet in their simple, meager, and humble everyday existence they are much more happier than the people u find in our modern and technoligially advanced socieity. They live on much less than u and I because they dont expect more than they are given. We should be able to learn something from that...don't u think? Think about it. Maybe this wiil help you.
Take care !!!
I'm not taking your husbn
Quote:
Originally Posted by artemis-within
Ugh, I don't even know how to approach this topic with t. H and I got in a fight this morning about money. (what's new?) He didn't outright say it, but I got the distinct feeling, that he is very resentful of the money that I spend for therapy. Part of the issue which I cleared up for him was that he thought I was paying more for my t out of state than I would for a new t in town. I assured him that what I am paying her, is not a penny more than what my copay would be if I got a new t in town. This is what t and i agreed on. He just kept saying things like "I don't spend anything on myself. And you keep spending all this money." I don't spend money except for t every week, and occasionally on our son. I'm not into the whole clothes/shoes and manicures and pedicures and fancy haircuts and makeup I never have been. (Not that there's anything wrong with that!! I don't mean to say there is! It's just, I'm simple, I've never cared about that kind of stuff.) I do buy things for our son but he always knows about those things. The only expense I have, is t, and that's why I think he's resentful of that. There isn't anything else with any regularity that I spend money on. I have one pair of shoes I wear for work, and I buy a new pair only when the current pair starts falling apart. Literally. I have one pair of tennies. I have one pair of sandals and I didn't even pay for the sandals, they were a hand me down from my mother because they gave her toe a blister and she didn't want them anymore. They were cute, and they fit, so I took them.
Anyway I get a lot of benefit from t. And hubby agrees out one side of his mouth that I still need it. But then the comments start coming out the other side of his mouth. I am so confused. I don't envision therapy being a lifelong thing for me. In a lot of ways I am done with it, but there are other things that have come up in our depth work that need to be worked through. My initial reason for going, the initial goals we set, were accomplished. But deeper things than those have surfaced and we are working through those now. As much as I DO want to be done with therapy, I DON'T want to quit while she's still being so helpful to me. I am afraid if I let him talk me into quitting so we can not spend the money then all the hard work I've done will just go down the tubes, then I will be right back at pdoc, and back on the stupid meds that I finally got off of, and the vicious circle will begin again. I don't know that that's the case, but it's what I am afraid of, if I quit too soon because of monetary reasons. I already told him I'm going to be getting some overtime at work soon, it always comes in the summer I've been told. I'll talk to t about cutting back to twice a month instead of weekly. That way I will be spending $130 a month instead of $200 a month for t. That's something at least.
I had wanted to go back to school for an MFA in Creative Writing and I let him talk me out of that. Now I feel like he is trying to talk me out of therapy even though it is so helpful for me. I don't know. I don't know.
How do other people deal with a spouse/significant other being resentful of you spending money on yourself for therapy??
|