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Originally Posted by phoenix
First, I've read over recent posts of mine and would like to apologize for taking over any treads. I'm still trying to figure out how all this forum stuff works, I think I'm getting it. I'm also not used to the whole reciprocity thing...I'm used to being the one that everyone comes to for advice or whatnot, but never had anyone I could really share with because nobody could relate to what was going on inside. I want you all to know though, that I'm here for you all as well.
I posted this on a my old thread, but I think it just kind of gets lost in the mix, and or is as confusing as I am haha...Anywho...my latest confusion and what has been utterly confusing is the gray area of being DDNOS. I did realize though that I do lose time, so I'm even more confused. Things like (and I can't remember if I already mentioned this) turning around to do the dishes, and realizing I had already done them (but had no memory of it), or coming to realize that I was in the bathroom putting on lotion, and my hair was wet...so I must have just taken a shower. These types of things happen frequently, but I had never mentioned it to t because I just figured I had a lot on my mind (still not sure). t said it may be DID, but we aren't sure because we can't get any parts to tell us who did the dishes! I have parts that won't tell their name etc. as well. I know there was something else I was just going to write...
Oh yeah, and then when we were talking about that in therapy, I got a headache, and she said she has another client who gets headaches when there is internal conflict with an alter (trying to come out, or trying not to come out)...idk confusing. She also started talking to me about violence and how it can get me arrested...but, I haven't done anything (something I will need to address with her to get a better understanding of why this topic came up). Anyway, that night (after therapy), I got an ocular migraine, which I haven't had in a couple years. My left eye had a strobing arc so that I couldn't see for 20 min. out of it, then the painful migraine follows for the next couple of days. Fun stuff.
Seems like there was something else I was going to add...there is just so much. Has anyone had any of these experiences or have anything else they would like to share or add?
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I used to get ocular migraines before I lost time...it turned out to be not related to my having DID....my treatment providers told me that because they were not a daily issue and didnt happen every single time I dissociated they were not related, my therapist and I assumed they were related because migraines by their self can cause a person to lose track of time and have memory problems...after taking many tests and documenting what was going on when they would happen, what triggered them, it turned out my migraines were part of my having Multiple Sclerosis and consuming things like caffeinated drinks/foods Now Im on a migraine medication and decaffeinated foods/drinks they rarely happen.
I also got other types of migraines from stress/caffeine and MS but no longer get them thanks to some great MS meds/migraine meds and stress reduction exercises like breathing and grounding.
Suggestion maybe you can keep a journal of when you have these ocular migraines and what triggered them, so that you can live ocular migraine / migraine free.
Another suggestion maybe you can contact your medical doctor who diagnosed you with ocular migraines. they can prescribe the right meds /diet and exercise that will stop them from happening.
I still get regular headaches sometimes that are part of my dissociative problems which is pretty normal for some dissociatives to have because dissociation is a normal reaction to things like stress/anxiety/depression and other things to.
by doing my breathing/grounding/yoga and other relaxing exercises I am able to live headache free most of the time..
maybe your treatment providers can teach you ways to ground/relax yourself so that you will also be able to live relatively free of the headaches.
forgetting what you did when ....well that can happen due to many things too like stress, age, anxiety, medications,..... and does happen as part of dissociative issues.
one thing that helps me with this is letting my treatment providers know this is happening so that my meds can be adjusted/changed and we can come up with plans to fix the problem like keeping a to do list and crossing things off once they have been done, getting enough sleep and eat right since sleep deprivation and poor eating habits can also contribute to dissociation and memory problems...
suggestion keep talking with your treatment providers. they are the ones that know you best so they will be able to teach you how to control your dissociative/memory problems.