In case anyone is interested, I talked to my T about this today. He thinks I'm doing this as a way of understanding how I exist in the world.

He told me a story about a question he asked his mother when he was really little - he wanted to know what something in his room was made of. She said: "You'll find out when you're older." He said he kept trying to remember the question, and at first he thought it was because he really wanted to know the answer. Then he realised it was because he wanted to remember that he'd had a question, as that was part of how he existed in the world.

It made sense in the session, I'm not sure I'm explaining it very well now though.