Your honesty is flabbergasting. Thank you for sharing this with us, and I am certain no one thinks you are an awful person. This can happen and does happen to anyone, regardless of how strong we think our relationships are or how moral we tell ourselves we have become. I have no advice for you, but I just wanted to tell you you are not alone. Your husband does sound like the man you should be with. I wonder if Dan would be so forgiving? It is a huge risk. If you haven't already had a crappy life full of tragedies etc. maybe this is going to be the 'big one' for you (or the first big/negative event) If you are fragile, I wouldn't recommend rocking the boat if you can't swim. You can talk to me anytime my friend. Yours truly, Lightbulb7Seven