Am sorry, I agree - her sexual past really has nothing to do with you. It's her past, not yours. I do not know if she lied to you, but if someone who was relatively inexperienced asked me about my sexual history while dating, I would not say so not to make that person feel bad, or myself to come over as easy. Besides I would not feel the need to tell in any situation where asked, its private. I would not blame your wife if she didn't feel like she should share everything too.

Whereas I understand the pain where you feel a little hoodwinked, I think it would be better to let go of the negative thoughts. You've been together for a long time, until now you've been happy? Why let something that happened a long time ago ruin the last 14 years? It would be such a shame to let that happen. You once had problems with sex, but that man you were must've long gone. Please let your past and her past stay.. well, in the past.

Hugs.