Pretty much everyone that gets put on medications are in a crisis of some sort and at that point its just about getting a person stable so that they can get there feet back under them, start learning healthy ways to manage stress, learn coping skills, learning triggers and how to manage them, Sleep issues if need be, etc( long list)

Being on Medications is nothing to feel bad about. Will you be on them forever ? Who knows. Right now its just about getting you stable. I would imagine you could have numerous med changes ( everyone does )

You have been all over the place mood wise lately. No one can feel good about anything when your in these kinds of mood swings.

I do think once you start to level out you will realize you have options and no treatment has to be life long.

Hang in there