I think if nothing else you push on for your kids. I don't think they understand what you are going through and would be traumitized for years if you were to give up. I have felt really low before and it is a struggle to even get out of bed somedays. I just know when I don't I feel worse and worse. At least working and trying to seem ok 8 hours a day helps me keep my depression in check.

I hope you find someone in your life to support you and want to know what is going on. Depression is hard to cope with and loved ones can't do a whole lot for you. My advice is to try and find someone who is support and ask them for help. Maybe that is a person to listen to your thoughts, concerns or complaints. Or maybe that is someone to be with you who care and loves you even when you are filled with self loathing and worthlessness. My depression makes me view things from a bleak perspective and I often convience myself that no one cares for me and it doesn't matter if I am here or not. It is distorted thinking and I often have to analyze what makes me feel that way. Do I have specific reason, or are they simply negatives thoughts that go unchallenged.

I hope therapy can begin to make things better for you.