Hi,
Sounds like I have a simliar problem - my Pdoc called it a sleep phobia. When I was a little girl, I would sleep under the bed, in closets. I do everything I can to avoid a deep sleep.

Due to some physical problems I've been having during last couple of years, I decided to go the medication route. Trazadone and ambien, I really didn't want to go the route of medication but I had to have more than 2-3 hours of sleep so I did. I've gone off the medication ever once in a while for like a month to see if I could get sleep the natural way but couldn't.

That said, medication isn't for everyone. Some of the things that do work for me are:

Warm fuzzy blankets
honey in warm milk
Upping my calcium/Vit d/magnesmium by supplements
getting a recliner so I had a choice of whether to sleep in my bed or not
Getting white noise, like a air cleaner
Having a dog that sleeps with me
changing my bedroom to look less like a bedroom
going to sleep with relaxing music
use a pepermint lotion before bed
sleep with a nightlight

I'm so sorry that you are having this problem too. I find that it is frustrating to want to sleep but not being able to. Small measures that I mentioned above have gradually made me feel safer. For me that is the key, changing anything and everything that gives me more of a feeling of safety and comfy feeling.

sending good thoughts your way, Lu