Quote:
Originally Posted by bluedolphin92
He said that long distance relationships had always been bad for him in the past, and that ours would be the furthest one he's ever had (He lives near Chicago and I live near Cleveland).
But he said that there was no changing how he felt about the long distance thing.
implying that I would be able to move closer to him at that time (Which is true, I have been seriously considering getting a bit further away from home.
my feelings for him are something more than liking him. He's also still a very dear friend
and I don't want to lose him completely even if I can't be with him in a romantic way.
I can't help but feel that it will take forever for me to develop feelings for someone else as deep as the ones I have for this guy.
It's just that I've known him for so long,
if I stop communicating with him I'll lose our friendship.
I could just use some advice on how to cope with this. Will this start to go away with time?
|
Minus the meeting up, I can Identify and Relate to what is happening and what you are going through.
What if, he starts writing about all his future girlfriends? How will this affect your emotions? For me, it started feeling more than uncomfortable, it became downright insensitive on his part(the guy friend in my life, that I had developed the more than like feelings for).
Around Thanksgiving, he and I started writing and discussing where to go from here. As in, let's reevaluate what this means for the both of us. By New Years, he already had ANOTHER girlfriend. Divorced for, what, not even three years yet, and I can count the number of girlfriends he had since, on two hands, not just one. Knew him longer, from a board he and I became friends through.
Coping? Yeah, just heard from him, for the first time in over a month, on a different board that he and I both belong to. This is after sending him a farewell letter to private communication.
The words, Emotionally Unavailable come to mind. Yeah, the long distance thing. What were his words? Let's see, if we met, and I was someone he 'fell in love with', he 'couldn't bear the thought of leaving me' and not having 'daily touch' in his life, was something he 'couldn't bear to deal with' in his life. ((do you sense a load of BS, here??))
Yeah, I'd entertained the notion, that had things worked out, and after a while of Long Distance being together, that I would consider the relocation. Why? The colleges out where he is near, aren't so bad for the sports that my sons play. Actually, top tier for what my sons play. Weather? No problem, considering where I grew up. Job? My job type is transferable to anywhere in the country. Finding my own place? No problem, I already know how to live the single mom life. I hear you, about the notion of hinting that you'd move closer to him. Especially with two years left of college, of course, you'd be able to freely relocate!!
What would losing him, feel like? Painful. Yes, painful. As if, suddenly, after the years of daily contact, like quitting smoking cold turkey, that's what it would feel like.
I added it up once. Hundreds of thousands of e-mail pages of communication between the two of us, through the years.
Will it take time, to move forward? You bet'cha!!! Will it be easier, in the long term, to not be where you are now? I believe, it will. Will it be possible to love again? I'm betting, it will be possible. Perhaps, appreciating what you need better. Appreciating, it when it happens, more, I'm hopeful.
Seeing my friend, in a different light, over the past couple of days, when I discovered he was posting in a place, where I am at, also....PRICELESS. I am seeing him, differently, now.
Friends, like him. Not sure, how much of a friend he really was. Not sure about yours. I had to stop depending on him, to be my 'friend', first.
