i apologize if i'm posting in the wrong place but i'm new and not really sure where to post i dont have anyone to talk to about whats going on so here i am. i'm five weeks pregnant and i'm scared and excited and miserable. i've miscarried several times over the past few months so the doctors have been monitering me almost constantly. i've had blood work done every few days to make sure my hcg levels are rising and a sonogram just a few days ago to make sure the pregnancy isn't ectopic. i feel like there's a noose around my neck and with every test i'm just waiting for the chair to be kicked out from under me. i have cramping and spotting and it's unlikely my body will hold on to this baby and the harder i try to stay positive the more i seem to worry.
while i was in bed all day praying that this pregnancy will keep it appears my boyfriend was online viewing internet porn. thats the little gift i got when i hit control h instead of control n (user history instead of new page. i threw up).
i've had to stop taking meds in order to have a healthy baby and i'm hanging on by a very thin thread. and the progesterone supplements they gave me to prevent miscarraige seem to be aggravating my condition. i'm a paranoid hysterical woman right now and since i hate my boyfriend too much to ask for his support i'm here and if anyone has any words of wisdom i'd be very very grateful.