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Old Nov 11, 2006, 08:41 PM
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sabby sabby is offline
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Member Since: Feb 2005
Location: Southwest of Northeast
Posts: 33,346
(((((Jen))))) I'm so sorry you are feeling out of place.

I can so understand what a difficult time you are having right now and how frustrating it must be for you.

Sometimes when our friends find out that we have an illness, all of a sudden, we seem to be defined by that illness instead of who we really are. Unless our friends have been well educated about our illness, they have a lack of understanding which in turn can make them distant from us because they just don't know how to interact with us anymore. They don't want to say or do anything that might upset you, or make themselves look stupid or uncaring. Because of that, they find it easier to stay away. It doesn't mean they don't care, just that they don't know what it is you require of them. May I suggest that you have a group of your friends over for dinner some night. Have some handouts to give them that will explain what your illness is all about. Let each of them know that your illness doesn't define you as a person and that it's ok to ask questions, but just not dwell on the subject.

Let them know if there is anything they can do for you when you have a seizure....tell them you need a few moments to regroup and then you can go on with what you were doing. Education and knowledge will be your best ally.

This is not to say that some of your friends may never be able to be as close to you as they once were. Not everyone can deal with things the way we want or hope they can. You should probably prepare yourself for that happening.

How about the next time your friends go out, and you know where they are going, why don't you just show up?? Walk in with your head held high and jump right into the fun. Maybe all they need to do is see that you are still the funloving friend they always knew and loved

Take care hon....and I hope you can get back on track soon!

Hugssssssssssss
Jean