Here's my take on the transference: whether you are suspicious of her, angry at her, or want a friendship her, it's a golden opportunity to find out what that experience means to you as an issue separate from the other person. It's likely that your initial caution said something about your life history and personality, and your care about her now says something about those things, too. And the feelings about saying goodbye say something about that, too. Only in a therapist will you find someone who is focused purely on what that means to you and focused on exploring more about the types of feelings that are there. It's likely that if you look closely at your feelings, you will find that in part they aren't feelings that arise in normal friendships or they arise for different reasons. So again, it's only with a therapist that you have a chance to observe those types of feelings.

I know it's not easy, however. I am thinking about making a career move and I'll probably have to leave the therapist I have been with for 23 years. I've made vast amounts of progress and I know I can handle leaving, but talk about grief when it happens. It will be like a spouse dying or something.