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Me and my girlfriend have been together approximately 3.5 years She is 32 Im 27. During this time she has had a very serious back injury which has made her pretty much wheelchair bound (she can walk small distances) due to this
she has put on a lot of weight which has made me less attracted to her physically.
She has also suffered understandably from serious depression and self harm due to her chronic back pain.
We do still have sex sometimes when her back isn't too sore and we both enjoy kissing cuddling etc. We both love each other a lot and rarely argue and when we do its short lived. We both trust each other 100%
We share a lot of the same life goals such as shunning consumerism, shunning TV, being as self sufficient as possible, enjoying the simple things life has to offer etc. These qualities are very important to me and are hard to find in a girl as most these days seem to be hypnotised with consumerism and other meaningless pursuits.
She looks after her niece really well even though it makes her sore and tired. She only does 1 day at a time I'm not sure how she would cope with looking after the child longer. She has great maternal instinct.
She has a really stong desire for a baby *really* strong. This has freaked me out. I have the following worries:-
@ What if her depression comes back really bad.
@ What if the strain of having children and her serious injury / mental health problems breaks us up.
@ What if the medicine she is on adversely effects the baby?
@ What is having a baby makes her back much worse?
@ Sometimes I fantasise about other girls a lot what if I get too sexually frustrated due to her change in appearance, lack of ability to have regular sex due to her injury and the fact that I will only have 1 sex partner my whole life? Do these feeling go away when you become a parent?
@ She is the only girl I have ever been with and I worry that I won't feel fulfilled with having just 1 sex partner my whole life.
@ What if we decide to break up instead of having a baby and I regret having lost such a great, loving and trusting relationship.
@ Breaking up with her would absolutely destroy us both. We both had pretty miserable lives before we met and fell in love.
@ The idea of having a baby and being responsible for it my whole life terrifies me but at the same time the idea of being afraid to do it and wasting my life living in fear terrifies me also. I believe the country I live in will soon be hit a huge economic collapse and the idea of "moving out to the sticks" and being self sufficient with her is really tempting if I don't find someone to be self sufficient with soon the collapse will hit and it will be too late. I can't do it on my own as I would be far too lonely.
I'm going to arrange relationship counselling to try and resolve these issues but there is a long wait for it and I wondered what you people think I should do .
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