Quote:
Originally Posted by adam_k
I would agree that her past is her past. Do you still love her and would not knowing this information change things? When people are young they do things that they regret or wreckless etc. Do you want your wife to revert to her past and be wreckless and sleep around with multiple people? People change and 14 years is a long time. I would try to let go of her pastand embrace the present between you two. Those wild times were probable not very fulfilling to her, otherwise she would experess a desire to do that again right? I don't agree with her casually bringing it up, and I would find that aggrevating if my wife did that without me asking. I could see how you could be upset, but do you really want to be angry with her over something so long ago and before you were together? I would tell her things like that bother you and to not casually bring them up.
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I really do appreciate the responses. I agree with them and have dropped the issue with her. I simply cannot enjoy certain things right now due to the vision of my wife doing these things b/c to me it is very new. To her and to you all reading, this is about something that happened many years ago. I am her husband and thought after 14 years I knew her and her history. Now I have an image that is new and I am sorry but I do have the right to be hurt by the deception. I believe it was purposeful. I was very honest with her about my past and how what happened to me in my life was painful. She took that to mean she had to lie to me in order to get me to like her. It worked and I fell in love. Now I ask her what else is there that you never told me or lied about in order for me to think of you as you wanted, not as you actually are? People have histories, we all do, but to excuse past behavior as "its the past" is not right in my opinion. It is our past that makes us who we are. And our beliefs and morals are developed early on. She lied to me about hers. When you say I do, you are marrying the person and their history. Their life past and present is now shared. When we did that she married someone she knew. I married the person she wanted me to know. Their is a difference. I love her and will stay with her but I will always wonder what else I don't know.