I agree with a lot of the things already said here, but here's my own two cents:

I used to be deeply hurt, crushed, when I found my husband watching porn by seeing it on his history etc. It really crushed my spirit and I took it for years. What was baffling to me, is every single day of our twelve year relationship, I HAD SEX WITH HIM (except on the three occasions where I was in labor with our children and recovery afterwards) I did everything he ever asked...I'll leave it to the reader's imagination.

This so destroyed me. After seven years of monthly findings, even he admitting going to strip clubs and lying about it over TEN times: I CHEATED ON HIM. I could no longer stay with the man without doing that, I reasoned. I didn't cheat because of physical needs at all, but I wanted someone to make me feel loved, desired. It was with a neighbor.

I started drinking heavily also, and chatting with guys online. I stopped caring about him using porn because now, I had my own secrets. I did feel he ruined me, but in hindsight I see I was damaged beforehand, which it is absolutely common for females to feel this way regardless of relationships in the day and age of airbrushing and television that we are so lucky to have been born into.

Since then, I confessed to my husband what happened. It rocked his world.

He loves me deeply as you have described your love for your wife, and we have worked everything out and I have never cheated on him again since that isolated incidence. Our love proved strong enough to weather this storm and we have changed so much since those days.

I feel we are much closer than we were before, and I have learned a lot about myself. I was insanely insecure, which is actually a bit selfish on my part. I have changed, he has changed. We are definitely not perfect, but we're stronger than before. Thanks for sharing your story and inviting us to participate. I truly hope your marriage continues to solidify, grow and heal. Yours truly, Lightbulb7Seven