I also don't quite understand how something from +14 years ago came up, and how or why it is relevant to your present day life. Some detail might help...

Since you never had any inclination to experience a FFM 3-some, why do you feel robbed of a wild time with your wife? This is a question you need not answer to me, but for yourself, as it may be the clue to getting over this very painful hurdle...
Not a question of being robbed. It is about the fact I was put under the impression that the things we have done with one another pushed both our boundaries and I felt like we shared that adventure together, now I know I am second in line. We have also talked about 2 woman before as a fantasy, never a reality. Now I know it is her reality, I was just never told. Nor can it any longer remain a fantasy as I am hurt to realize the truth.
I'm sorry if this sounds unhelpful, but I honestly don't see the problem. Why drive yourself nuts over a past that was none of your concern in the first place?
I made it clear to her it was my concern prior to asking to marry her. It was and is important to me. If I had asked if she was a virgin and she lied would that be ok as well.. obviously not. You may not understand, but I was very clear with her at the beginning of our relationship and she lied to me, deceived me, in order to allow the relationship to continue.
The answer to this question will also no doubt be helpful in your healing process.

You've had 14 yrs of sex with your wife, so whatever inexperience you may have suffered from in the past has been dealt with by now.
Nice assumption. I was not suffering from inexperience, I was inexperienced as my choice due to past sexual trauma.

I'm really sorry you are hurt by this info, but IMO, you have to realize that her sexual past really is none of your business. It is my business prior to marriage. It is a fair question for any one to ask of a potential mate. If she was a porn star prior to marriage I should have the right to know that before marriage. You feel that she should be allowed to lie in order to get what she wants in a mate but I don't have the right to be choosing the type of woman (history included) I wanted to marry.
It was before your time and in reality its irrelevant because it doesn't affect you (she never gave you a disease) except for in the way you are allowing it to affect you right now... You have to learn to let go of her past, its hers.

Some food for thought:
If your wife shared this news with you while dating, she would have never had a snowballs chance in hell to walk down the aisle with you, and probably knew this, so was smart enough to keep it secret. She lied period.
If your marriage is good and you are happy, wasn't it a good thing you didn't know beforehand, because the past 14 yrs wouldn't have happened?