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Originally Posted by seeker1950
I've been communicating for some time now...on a superficial level, with a man with whom I was involved with as a young woman in college. I guess you could say I treated him badly, but, in fact, the man was, and is, very shallow. I don't know why I've felt the need to communicate with him, but yesterday, I sent him a heartfelt letter trying to "make amends" for the bad experience we had together. Since we've communicated for quite some time now, I thought this heartfelt letter would elicit a response that was equally responsive. Instead, it was abrupt, rude and dismissive of my attempt at amends. It leaves me feeling this was "pearls before swine."
I didn't have to do this...write a heartfelt letter. It was actually generous
on my part. Since receiving his curt response, I've deleted him from all my contacts. If I've learned anything from a lifetime of abuse, it is to avoid such.
So...none of you have to respond to this. I'm just ranting! 
Patty |
Sorry this interaction upset you. You're my friend so I don't want to make it worse, but I have a couple things to hopefully make you see this more objectively. After going through significant pain the last few years, I've learned to pay attention to my own ego and reel in my expectations of others.
Did you feel he was shallow before his response?
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I guess you could say I treated him badly
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Could it be, he's not in a position to offer forgiveness or he could have a hard time dealing with his feelings? We can't guarantee a certain response from others.
Another comment here is confusing -
Quote:
I didn't have to do this...write a heartfelt letter. It was actually generous
on my part.
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You got upset with him for not giving you the right response. A true apology still stands even if its rejected. He could be a guy who struggles with awkward feelings. It would be easier not to assume he was being mean. Even if he couldn't accept the letter, its his choice, since you felt you didn't treat him the best in the past. Maybe he needed time to sort out his response or didn't know what to say. I say all this with kindness.
