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Old May 29, 2013, 01:38 PM
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Rachel.i Rachel.i is offline
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Member Since: Sep 2012
Posts: 411
Well, I saw my T yesterday. Don't know if it helped a lot because I already know I'm through with that 30-year toxic relationship with the couple. Am continuing to try to excise them from my mind. I've been doing pretty well at it, with some slips.

They are still playing their nasty games though, like recruiting one of their kids to post a picture with a filthy caption on my FB wall. I just deleted it, and him, and considered the source. He's a HS dropout, 32, in & out of jail over 50 times, no work history, four kids from four different mothers, etc. My kids are mostly younger with solid educations and good jobs and in stable long-term relationships. They aren't perfect of course, but neither would they post that kind of crap even if I wanted them to. So it didn't get to me as I'm sure they wanted it to. It does show their mentality though, and how much I so don't need them.

I see some reasons I let them back in my life a third time, but none are valid; our long history, the husband's illness, my having fundamentalist parents who carry the Bible to an extreme, and an abusive father who treated us kids as objects. And, my own failure to enforce boundaries. My mother still says I need to follow the Golden Rule. I said there's no way I am treating people so well when they treat me so bad. I know people in my life, or I, will also sometimes act toxic since we are human, but I do not want any more chronic ones like that. And these days there seem to be more and more of them around.

I have a really good husband who doesn't play stupid mind games, a few good siblings, my kids, a couple kind neighbors, and some women I haven't known nearly as long as that couple but who've shown concern through cards and phone calls when they didn't hear from me in a while. I'm also back in touch with my old best friend of 30+ years, though I'm taking that slow. They and others, and other things, is where I need to be forcusing my time and attention.
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