I feel like I've been saying that all my life, "just leave me alone!"

but nobody ever does leave me alone.

It sucks because I want to be close to people and have meaningful relationships but most people are stupid and even if they're not.. they don't understand me or our personalities just clash. So what's the point, really?

Easier to just stay by myself. Except I can't tolerate being alone.

But I don't know how to not be alone sometimes. I don't know if that makes any sense. Like, I can't be alone but being around people... it's like it almost physically hurts most of the time. But when I'm alone that almost physically hurts too.

It feels like I'm in an impossible situation, all the ****ing time.

I don't know what I'm trying to say. My thoughts are chaos and I feel misunderstood and like everyone hates me and is laughing at me. >_<