Quote:
Originally Posted by southpole
Double hugs, LearningMe  (make that triple)
I still think about mine every day but for some reason this week the insane transference feelings have eased off. I only just posted last week that they were doing my head in, I thought I was absolutely LOSING ITl
Today I feel much more rational. I have realized that I:
1. am not in love with her
2. love her as a therapist (a lot)
3. don't want to be her friend.
This, for me, is BIG, and I don't know how long it will last. Of course when I go see her in exactly two hours, things may change. But I am glad I have experienced less obsessiveness and less painful lovelorn-ness, if only for a short while.
Don't know why it's so complicated. again |
Thanks for this
It seems that I was just having a good day when I wrote this though. Today, 3 hours after seeing her I am back to feeling very lovelorn and very painful. Hopeless, really. I thought it was getting better, but apparently not. I know the feeling, of it "doing your head in." It's like, you can't escape it. The only way I see this getting better would be to terminate with her...but I really, REALLY don't want to do that. Besides being a beautiful person, she's an awesome T and helps me sort out a lot of my 'inner turmoil'. (except for the inner turmoil that surrounds my 'love' for her.) Sometimes I feel like I'm just delaying the inevitable, she's leaving next year, and has mentioned on more than one occasion the "certainty of the fact that she will be leaving my life" (ahhhh, Ouch.)
I don't know why it has to be so complicated either. I wish I had the answer, because if I knew how, I would completely banish her from my head, and heart (other than as a therapist.) *sigh* I think it's going to be one of those nights.
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