Some meetings are open, where anyone can come, or closed, meaning only the person struggling with alcohol can go. When I went to AA my wife did go with me to a few open meetings. She also went to Al-Anon meetings down the hall. Some places have both meetings at the same time. I hear that Al-Anon is very supportive to family members.
I wish you well. I can empathize with your despair right now. I agree with the previous comments...that whatever you choose to do, find community. Struggling with this alone makes it so much more painful. Please...hang in there. You are worth it.